Rules, Intentions, and Guidelines

It’s hard to believe that midterms are already here and that it’s almost time for thanksgiving! Now, don’t get me wrong, I love thanksgiving, but is the semester already half way over? Being that we’re halfway through October means that in a few months my year of not dating is going to come to an end. I know that I have said in my earlier blog posts that the point of this year is to not be frantically and impatiently waiting on December to arrive, but to acknowledge how far I have come in my relationship with Christ and to be super aware of the intentions I have for myself and my future mate when it comes to dating and pursuing a relationship with each other and ultimately Christ.

Of course I’ve been thinking about what I will do once this year is over. I don’t plan on throwing myself a party for waiting this long nor do I plan to boast about how far I’ve come and how proud I am of myself on social media. Although I am sharing my journey with my friends and family through social media, I have never intended for this to get mass attention or the least bit of recognition. I feel that it is important to have accountability. I cannot tell you the number of people that have asked me how I’ve made it this long. These people that encourage me with my blog are the people that are keeping me accountable for my actions and will be keeping me accountable for future actions.

I did not do this for anyone but for the glory of God. I feel that it is important to share my journey with him because I feel that other people my age and maybe even adults should hear my story.

I already feel as if December will come sooner than expected. I don’t plan on going out on a date as soon as I hit a certain day in December because I believe that you should date with intentions. You should have intentions not only in your intimate relationships but relationships with your friends and your family such as: Have you discussed praying for each other? What about being accountability partners with each other?

While on this journey, I have thought about the “guidelines” or “intentions” I have set up for myself for dating in the future (not that the boys are lined up at the door):

-Make sure the guy pursuing you has the same intentions you do about dating, but is ultimately pursuing you for a more intimate relationship with God.

-If you’re lonely, do not go on a date. This only leads to desperation and lust, which does not glorify God or make you feel better about yourself, especially in the long run.

-Just because all of your friends have boyfriends doesn’t mean that you need one/are ready for a relationship. Of course all the cute messages and gifts are great but is that really brings you joy? Be grateful for the relationships you already have with friends and family.

-Have a bible study together but also keep each other accountable for your own personal quiet time.

-Remember that you don’t have to constantly text all day to ask what’s up. A little message here and there is sufficient.

-Take it easy. “Patience is a virtue”. Cliché I know, but so true. But, there is always the saying to “save the best for last”. You don’t have to rush anything.

-Know your limits: pretty self-explanatory… If you know there is going to be temptation, take a step back and put yourself in a place where that won’t happen. Go out with other people, not just by yourself watching movies every night.

-God ultimately decides who you should date. So, pray every day. Pray for your future mate: for their spiritual walk, for his leadership qualities (that he will lead you in the way Christ calls your relationship to go & that he learns what it means to be a godly leader), for obedience so that he will have an obedient heart for the Lord, and pray for strengths against temptations (that your future mate lives a life to glorify Christ).

I know that these “rules” or “intentions” are mainly personal goals and decisions I’ve made for myself to uphold, but I figured, why not share them with other people who may need to set some too. I’m excited to see what the future holds with these last couple of months of not dating and to see how the Lord works through my life in all of my relationships. I’m blessed to share this blog post as well as the other posts to hopefully inspire other brothers and sisters in Christ to take a look at how they are approaching their relationships.

“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” -1 Timothy 4:12

Have a great week!

-BSF

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